YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck if . . .”, we give you “you might not be part of the target market of Las Vegas casinos if . . .”

You have a hard time finding a free parking spot on the strip because you assume your car will be towed if you park it in a casino lot and are not staying or gambling at the casino.

You quick make and eat your peanut butter and honey sandwiches for lunch before you find a place to park.

After you park on the strip, it takes you fifteen minutes to dig two strollers out of the car topper you use to carry your camping equipment.

You don’t even consider spending the $14 they are asking at the “New York, New York” casino for one person to ride the roller coaster.

Your toddler’s diaper falls off while he is walking in the middle of the classy part of the “New York, New York” casino’s food court.

You fill your water bottles in casino bathrooms rather than pay to buy cold bottled water.

The only money you spend on the strip is for two Slurpies and a bag of Cheetoes at 7-11, and two $1 happy hour drinks.

You are told by a drunk man walking by you on the strip “now there is a real family; good for you, dad.”

Driving through Nowhere

From the Grand Canyon toward Nevada, we drove through strong winds. We even saw some mini sand tornadoes, that are (I think) called “dust devils” or “devil winds” or something like that. On the outskirts of a small town, we were driving right into the path of a big one that was going to cross the two lane highway. I asked Amy “do you think it’s dangerous to try to drive through one of those things?” She didn’t know. I decided to err on the side of caution (given my paranoia about everything and tornadoes in particular), and slow down so it would cross the road before I got to it. A pick-up truck coming at us from the other direction pulling a trailer hit it directly. It pushed his truck about three feet off course. I don’t think he missed seeing it – I am guessing that is what they do for sport in western Utah. (There didn’t appear to be much else to do.)

Grand Canyon Bithday

On Tuesday we left Zion and drove to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon to celebrate Alex’s 9th birthday. Okay that’s really where we planned to go anyway and Alex didn’t really care about looking at more rock. Driving to the park reminded me of driving through the UP with all the pine trees. On the way, Alex was sure to remind Dad not to hit any cows by the side of the road (we saw several of them).

Once at the park, we got out and Willy started his “I’m tired” routine. Matty cried the whole day “Ouwie, Ouwie” and I was nervous because of the drop offs and wind. We only stayed long enough to take a few pictures at a couple of spots but at least we can say we were there.

ZION Con't

We decided to splurge on a campsite this time as we were going to be staying 3 nights. We camped just outside of the park, the sites were not very nice. Our view was a new house being built and as we set up camp they were roofing. However I could look any other direction and see mountains of rock. This campground had a pool, laundry and hot showers (YEAH!!)so that made up for the view. We sure did need the laundry but I'm not sure we'll be able to make Alex's white soccer shirt white again. Who bought him that anyway:)

On Sunday we stayed on the east side of the park. We viewed the Checkerboard Mesa and other interesting rock forms. We also hiked a short hike to view the Zion Canyon. Gorgeous!

Monday we went farther in the park. The only way in was by shuttle bus which made Matty really happy. Toot-toot, toot-toot was all we heard from him. We hiked a riverside trail which went along the river and ended at the Narrows: a series of canyons that are so narrow you have to walk through the river to keep going up stream. Will befriended an older woman who held his hand most of the way up the path. She was trying to distract him from his pertetual "I'm tired, I can't walk" routine. It didn't last long.

After this hike, we had a pizza lunch under a huge tree at the lodge (halfway up the canyon). The pizza tasted incredible. I don't know if it was the view or the fact that we had only eaten PB/honey sandwiches and hot dogs for days straight or if it was actually really good pizza.

After our fabulous meal, Collin, Josh and Matty headed up the emerald pool trail. At the top pool , they saw a horse hair worm in the water. Essentially this was a huge leech (Yuck!) but Collin thought it was really cool.

I was struck by how water is so life sustaining. Zion had so many desert areas with amazing rock formations, but also these desert swamps along the river with hanging gardens of vegetation. The pictures don't do it justice. We could have spent another week exploring this park but this morning we packed up and headed for the Grand Canyon.

ZION NATIONAL PARK

Incedible rock canyons.
Brilliant whites and reds.
Hot during the day.
Warm at night.
Finally we don't freeze at night.

ROAD WRECKAGE

On Saturday morning we packed up and headed toward Zion National Park. A few miles from the park entrance in the middle of nowhere, we were cruising along when I happened to look out my rearview mirror and to my astonishment I saw our bikes go flying down the road. Thankfully there were no cars behind us. Josh and I picked put them on the side of the road and there they were left.

Yep, the bikes I so despertely wanted to have in CA were no more. Alex's bike was taken by the time we went back with some tools to take apart the baby seat. All he talks about now is getting a new red bike with yellow racing stripes. Willy just whines that he wants to ride the chaser (this was the only one that survived...hmm but where to fit it in the car)

As for me, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh so I did both. I know they were just bikes (as well as Josh's transportation..guess he'll have to take the bus now) but mine was a really expensive one. My thoughts turned to what God was trying to teach me with this loss. Did I really need to care so much about some bikes?

I also started to question Josh's brain functioning. What with the backing into a parked car and now this little oops of not properly securing the bike rack I am wondering about him. He assures me that he is just fine...rationalizing everything lawyer like. Blah blah blah. Anyway hopefully we will have no more road problems.

From Arches to Bryce Canyon

We arrived in Bryce Canyon on Friday. Our campsite was on a high ridge with 2 other sites very close that we shared with some young guys who had just graduated from college and a family with 2 kids the same age as Will and Matt. Poor guys had to put up with 6 kids. However, in the morning I made them pancakes so all was good.

Bryce Canyon was beautiful. It is made up of several naturally occurring amphitheaters. This canyon had many rock spirals called hoodoos. We hiked down the Navajo trail which descended into the canyon by 16 switchbacks. It was a bit scary with the little boys. As you walk the trail among the huge rock walls at the bottom, the trail bends and there stand two huge pine trees straight as an arrow called "wallstreet". We then continued our hike out a different trail that was longer but not as steep. Willy cried the whole way out that he was too tired to walk anymore.